Four Play to Monogamy – Best Sexy Wines

We thoroughly engaged our livers and put the world’s sexiest wines to the taste test. The result? A carefully curated list of the best sexy wines. It all started at a recent party – in which we were watching ABC’s “The Bachelor.” A friend brought over an appropriately themed bottle of wine. Monogamy. Pun intended. Surprisingly, it was a terrific wine that wasn’t crazy expensive, which got us thinking… we OFTEN play with words and wine and the natural pun the labels or vintages encourage.

Who hasn’t thought about the significance of the name of the wine when bringing a bottle to a party? Pink champagne for Valentine’s Day or a breast cancer awareness event? A bottle of Conundrum when you’re getting together with a friend who’s in a … conundrum? Lindsay once bought a bottle of “Dancing Bull” just because she’s a Taurus and likes to dance, so naturally it just made sense that she buy it (the wine itself wasn’t quite as stellar however).

We had a ball with this task. It got a little naughty with the banter about the names and vints, we’re not gonna lie. So, loosen up and join us on this ride through the best sexy wines. Channel your inner vixen!

Some Like it Hot: Thumbprint Winery – Four Play, Three Some, Climax, and After Glow (Sonoma County)

Thumbprint is in a league of their own from the clever names and label descriptions to the exquisite wines coming out of Sonoma. Start with Four Play, since that’s only natural….then give the Three Some a try. With a blend of 50% merlot, 43% cabernet sauvignon and 7% cabernet franc this bold red is an orgy of aromas and flavors.

Light some candles, turn on some blues and taste as these three entangle themselves with layers of dark berry, exotic spices and velvety textures. Ripe blackberry, bold allspice, toasty oak and dripping blueberry compote evoke playful passion. As Thumbprint suggests: “Pair with one or two friends with or without food. Clothing optional.” And then there’s the Climax. But wait! Once you’re through with the Climax, you can open up a bottle of After Glow. Need we say more?

The newest addition to Thumbprint Cellars “stimulus package,” After Glow was named by wine club members who had already enjoyed the Arousal, Four Play, Three Some and Climax. Well played. Now they can bask in the effects of After Glow.

Classy Lady: Monogamy (North Coast California)

The label says it all: Truly Madly Deeply – and in love we were. Both their Cabernet Sauvignon and Chardonnay are a blend of grapes from Lake Mendocino and Sonoma Counties. The Cab has aromas of black olives, cassis, plum and dried herbs. Completely committed flavors of blackberry, black cherry, cassis and plum with a smooth velvety texture followed by a lingering and slightly toasty finish.

The Chardonnay has bright aromas of fresh apple, pear and pineapple lead to flavors of the same with a touch of cream, butterscotch and light oak on the finish. A foray into Monogamy may have you wholly committed to this vintage as your everyday go-to bottle of goodness.

Cheers to Monogamy!

Bada Bing Bada Bang: Naked Winery – Penetration Cabernet (Columbia Valley) and Vixen Syrah (Rogue Valley)

When it comes to reds, we like it smooth and intense. And Naked’s Penetration is… smooth and intense. Oh, come on, people. Live a little. But what drew us to get Naked Wines was their syrah — with a name like Vixen, how could we refuse?

The grapes for their red varietals (Syrah, Cabernet, Sangiovese, Nebbiolo, Barbera and Merlot) are orgasmically grown in the hot and dry Apple Gate and Columbia Valley regions of Oregon and Washington respectively. Their other varietals (Pinot Noir, Pinot Gris, Chardonnay, Muscat and Riesling) benefit from the cool pacific marine layers of the Willamette and Illinois Valley’s to produce subtle and complex wines. If you want to get Naked on a regular basis, you can join Club Naked and they’ll make sure you’re stocked with Foreplay, Penetration, and our favorite, Vixen.

Of course if that’s not your thing, you can also choose to sample the Cougar or try the Fling instead. And traditionalists can pick up a bottle of their Missionary blend. All the dirty details are here.

Best Bang for the Buck: Little Black Dress (Hopland, Calif.)

Yes. You got that right. Bang. Buck. Little Black Dress has a cute and fun label that’s perfect for a ladies night or bachelorette party, why not spice it up with a little black dress? These wines share the same versatility as their namesake – they’re perfect for any occasion or preference, featuring a Merlot, Pinot Grigio, Chardonnay, Pinot Noir and the newest addition, Cabernet Sauvignon.

For a wine under $15, it doesn’t get much better. When the theme is girly, this is a perfect sexy wine to bring to the party… along with wearing your, yep, little black dress. Might as well put on those sexy heels too! If nothing else, you’ll have a great conversation starter.

Cheap Trick: The Full Monty Montepulciano d’Abruzzo (Casa Geretto, Friuli, Italy)

No joke. This wine can be found for $7.99. We’re suspicious of bottles this inexpensive. It’s like meeting the man or woman of your dreams and telling your friends it’s too good to be true (and probably is), then finding out that while yes, he is IS too good to be true, it’s also not as bad as you thought. Our take on this wine? Same story. Not the greatest, but not the worst either. Pair it with pasta or a light dish after another bottle of something else, and pretty soon you’ll be dancing the full monty all the way to the bedroom.

Family operated since its founding in the 1950s, Casa Geretto has realigned the winery’s philosophy and image, through careful selection of the right products and a focus on wines which reflect what they call terroir. This can only happen thanks to continuous experimentation, hands-on control of every stage of the winemaking process from vineyard management to bottling.

Bootylicious: BigAss Red (Mendocino County)

Full, yet soft. Velvety finish. This table wine won 1st Place in the 2006 Lake County Wine Competition for Other Reds. The Milano Family Winery, located near the town of Hopland, was founded in 1977 and is a family operation with deep historical roots in the Hopland wine growing area.

Achilles Rosetti, operated the first winery in Hopland – until prohibition. At about the same time Vincenzo (Jimmy) Milone made his way from Brindisi, Italy to Hopland. He married Achilles’ daughter Mary, and along with their son, Frank farmed pears, prunes, hops and grapes. By the mid 1940’s the hop business was booming. It was then that Frank and Jimmy Milone built a hop kiln where they dried hops until 1954 when the hop industry declined. Twenty-two years later, the hop kiln was converted into what is now Milano Family Winery.

Oscar-worthy: Marilyn Merlot (Napa Valley)

Campy name or not, this is a devilishly nice wine that’s easy on the pocketbook. The 2010 vintage Marilyn Merlot is the 26th annual production of this respected wine.

A blend of 94% Merlot and 6% Cabernet Sauvignon from grapes grown and fermented in the Napa Valley, the pours are vibrantly garnet and the complex aromas of blueberries, anise and toasty oak all work in harmony for a wine worthy of its legacy.

From Marilyn Wines, they also offer Norma Jeane, Sauvignon Blonde, and Blonde de Noirs.